The mystery of healing
Over the years of my life, I have encountered God in ways that are undeniable and life-changing. Not all of my interactions with Him are like this. A lot of them are more subtle and uneventful. But there have been times that I will never forget — times when I’ve felt God’s presence wrap me up like a blanket, or when a prayer was answered so perfectly and profoundly that it could only be Him, or when someone speaks a truth into my life that only God knew would mean something to me.
It humbles me to believe in that kind of God. It humbles me to acknowledge the things He has done, because I can’t always understand them. Because they weren’t something I could bring about myself. Some of it is simply a mystery. And no matter your beliefs, I think it’s the same with healing. There is something mysterious about how we heal. Sure, we’ve got our interventions and strategies, our theories and conceptualizations. And they’re useful. But what really gets us from Point A to Point B? What really moves truth from our heads and into our hearts, where we actually “get it”? Often, the breakthrough finally comes, and I don’t even know all the reasons why! I also know what it’s like to be controlled by anxieties or habits that I try so hard to change but can’t. To know exactly where I want to go, but not be able to get there. The world tells us we are the ones in control, that we are the ones with the power to change things, but what. if. I. can’t? And even as a Christian, I can strive, and strive, and strive, and sometimes I’m still stuck. It’s a mystery.
My own healing process has been just like that. Trial and error. Hit and miss. My own efforts and prayers mixed with a bunch of things (good or bad) I had nothing to do with. Sometimes God uses all kinds of different tools — from therapists to books to healing relationships. And sometimes, it is simply Him, intervening in a supernatural way. Not all at once, but little by little. It’s been a raw, wearisome, beautiful journey.
Believing this is freeing, but it’s also scary, because it means that it’s not simply up to us. Sure, we have our part, but there are bigger things at play too.
This reality changes how I see therapy. I’m not the kind of therapist that raves about one certain strategy or approach. I’m not even the kind that thinks therapy is for everyone (though I do believe it can help!). I’m a therapist who knows my role is one small part in a person’s path toward wholeness, where the pieces come together more like a jigsaw puzzle than climbing the steps of a ladder. I seek wisdom, I acquire knowledge, but at the end of the day, I humbly defer to the God who is truly Healer —who isn’t limited by approaches and interventions, who can use anything or anyone to heal and restore…who isn’t concerned about the manmade timelines and expectations that cause us to lose hope.
I know this leaves more questions than answers. But maybe, that’s the point. To stay in that place where we are trusting and resting, yet seeking and asking. To embrace the mystery and release control. God, will You help us with that?
What are you thoughts? No matter your beliefs, what has the mystery of healing looked like for you?
