Using what you’ve got

In so many ways, I am not the 35 year old I planned to be. I imagined being rooted, living in a small suburb somewhere with a husband, and kids…and maybe a dog.  Like so many of us, I imagined a typical, simple life.  People say our generation changed the way the world does things (those millennials!) — we’re into travel, and chasing after dreams, and living unconventionally — but I think it goes both ways.  The world also changed on us.  And settling down and establishing ourselves is just not as easy as it used to be.  

So here I am, trying to figure out how I fit in a world that wasn’t prepared for me. How do I find meaning, connection, stability in these less conventional ways?

In the midst of my questions and pondering, God has been setting Mark 4:24 on my heart.  It’s Jesus talking: And he said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear: with the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and still more will be added to you.

I may not have what I thought I would.  I imagine that’s the truth for many of us, no matter our life situations.  But what I do have, I’ve got to use.  I don’t have a family, but I have time.  I don’t have a mortgage, but I have flexibility.  I don’t have the wisdom that only comes from being a wife and mother, but I have learned to trust God and navigate life in different ways that are just as valuable.

All of this has led me to some big life changes recently.  Just this week, I’ve stepped into a full-time emergency foster parent role, because I want to use what I’ve got for things that matter.  And after years of “thinking about it,” I’m making the commitment to write. Regularly.  (I really mean it this time!) I don’t know exactly what will come of it, but I want to use the passions, experiences, and knowledge I’ve got — however big or small — and to trust that God will pour out more as I use it. After all, He is the God who made a feast out of a boy’s lunch box (John 6:1-14), and who builds His kingdom with steps of faith as small as a mustard seed (Matthew 13;31-21).

I pray that for you too.  Maybe some of you don’t have what you used to have, or you don’t have what those “other people” have.  Maybe some of you are waiting to have things just right before you step into the things that are on your heart.  May we have the courage to simply use what we have, right here and now, and to trust that God will grow it.